Tuesday, August 30, 2005

Boot the Head Awards - Received and Nominees

Well, Mr. Robertson won last week in a landslide. It was not even close although any time a church board member proclaims that people might think he is rich because he drives a ... LeSabre… well, they’ve got to be in the running too.

This week we already have some potential candidates for the weekly Boot to the Head Award.

I am nominating the folks who could have evacuated but did not in the face of Hurricane Katrina. I am mainly nominating them because it did not have to be like this and it makes my heart ache as I watch normally stone-faced reporters crack as they describe the horror of not being able to reach those who are drowning in their own homes. I realize there are folks who could not get out for physical or financial reasons but there are others who stayed out of arrogance. It is those that I nominate for this award.

On a church note I would also like to nominate all of the families who did not come out to our church retreat this past weekend. The retreat is free. The retreat is 20 minutes away. The retreat is not overscheduled, yet not boring either. The options are endless: come for the entire weekend, come for an afternoon, come for lunch, just come!

I especially want to nominate those families who were personally invited by me or others from the committee but who said their children didn’t want to go. Sometimes you’ve got to take your kids anyway, knowing that once they get there they will have a great time. Do you really want your 8 year old running your household?! How does your child know if they want to go if they never have actually been?!?!?! Which part would they have not enjoyed – running around with the kids who did show up, spitting watermelon seeds, all the dessert you could eat, playing in the creek – please tell me, which one of those was so incredibly awful.

Another group of nominees are the folks who refused to come out and worship with us. We average about 100 in worship normally and only 39 came out. There are directions everywhere and carpools waiting at the church to bring folks up to the camp. The seating is comfortable and accessible from the parking lot (one woman made it with her walker, it’s not like we are asking them to climb Mt. Rushmore).

Hey, guess what, all of you folks who beg and plead for more contemporary music – THIS WAS YOUR SERVICE – where were you? All of you folks who wish we would do something different every once in awhile – THIS WAS YOUR SERVICE – where were you? The amount of folks who didn’t come out because of laziness or stubbornness are hereby nominated for the Boot to the Head Award.

Who are your nominees?


reverendmother said...

Well, I really like your choices, but I also want to nominate the church committee that thinks it's in any way appropriate to schedule their meetings during the Sunday School hour.

I am their staff person and I'm teaching at that time, which means I can never go. Even if that were not the case, I think that warrants a BTTH, and perhaps a boot to my head that I haven't done the education needed to help them see how off that is.

will smama said...

More Boot to the Head Nominees:
Michael Brown from FEMA. Even if it is true that your organization didn't realize there were thousands of people at the convention center when everyone else in America was well informed on the crisis, don't admit to it.

Kanye West. If you saw the NBC special, you know what I mean. Kudos to Mike Myers for not giving him a Dr. Evil look and saying, "Right..." You know he wanted to.

The minority of people that are giving the majority of people a bad name.