Monday, December 19, 2005

Confessions of a Ribbon Addict



Dear Friends, Family and I guess that Stupid Dog,

It is with deep reflection and much staining of the carpet that I admit to all of you that I have a problem... I am a ribbon addict.

It has been very hard for me to admit I have a problem. I knew that occasionally I overindulged, but who doesn't when crinkly ribbon is involved... (especially with curls in it and being lightly blown by the heating vent... oops, er, I digress).

This year it has become increasingly apparant that the problem is far deeper than that. I have found myself chewing on flat ribbon, velvet ribbon and even those little bits of ribbon that come attached to other decorations - blech!

I have spent my nights looking for fresh ribbon-kill and then spend the early morning making a mess since it won't digest. My days are spent in a ribbon-induced stupor sleeping on any chair with a blanket and a heat source. I have fallen so far as to be caught kissing up to that Stupid Dog all in an attempt to score a bow or two.

I finally hit rock bottom when I ran to The Little One - he with the herky, jerky limbs and the dangerous tail-grabbing lunging - I ran to him because I thought they said, "Does he have some ribbon?" but really they said, "Does he have his bib on?"

Since that moment I have tried to make amends. I helped take the string of lights off the tree that weren't working and a limb of the tree that was blocking the view of the presents has been removed thanks to me.

Still. I need your help. Please do not bring this tempting product into the house. I cannot help myself.

With some Like and a bit of Disdain,
Maude

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