Sunday, January 22, 2006

Mojo and Spandex

I am notorious for not returning from vacation well. What I mean is that often my body has returned but the brain is still at the beach or in the car in the case of our last trek through the southeast US.

This past trip we returned to a funeral and a very busy church weekend and then a board meeting so my brain clicked in pretty quickly. I was quite satisfied with myself until I realized on Friday morning that I still needed to write a sermon.


Now I by no means am one of those who gets their sermon done early in the week or - like some people I know - even before the week starts. However, I usually have my sermon done by Saturday afternoon, early evening at the latest.

Not this week. I lost my sermon mojo.

I had a text. I had some ideas. I had some illustrations. What I did not have was even the remote desire to sit like the adult I supposedly am and write the thing.

I emailed back and forth with my friend, I was practically instant messaging with Songbird in the comments section of one of her posts. She finally gave up on me at 10:39pm. The 44th comment on that post has me finally saying goodnight at 1:16AM.

I felt like the college student who has had too much caffeine on a schoolnight and walks around the dorm looking for someone to 'play'. But all of the blog rooms were quiet. Even the the community room was quiet.

Finally I pulled it together long enough to get something on paper and then I went to bed. I woke up, I read through it, I got myself and family ready for church, I led Sunday School and then I led worship. And as we moved into the sermon and I began to preach I all of the sudden heard myself reading off the paper:

Trust. It is a commodity; and much like wearing spandex it is a privilege, not a right.

My friends, THIS is why you write your sermons before one o'clock in the morning on Saturday night.


apstraight said...

Oh. I will have to use that line.
Thank you.

juniper68 said...

I keep trying to type a wise-ass remark here, but really, nothing can top that spandex line, I'm pretty sure...

I'm trying to connect it Jonah, and it makes me giggle no matter where in teh story I put it...

:) Jennifer

reverendmother said...


Songbird said...

Oh, wow. That is just too funny!

Gord said...

And how on earth did you get there? Or where did you go from there?

Kathryn said...

Oh....that is priceless! Deeply grateful to discover someone else who is still writing into the small hours of Sunday morn,- sadly I've never produced a line of quite that splendid imagery. My writing just gets sleepier and more boring :-(
And as Gord says, where DID you go from there???

Preacher Mom said...

I know where I wish I had been yesterday for worship!!

will smama said...

Right after I said The Line I then ad-libbed: "It's not always easy to recover a sermon from the use of the word 'spandex' but I'll give it a try.'

I went from the trust we have in other human beings (fallible) to the trust we have in Jesus Christ (infallible). If that trust then is like a rock (Psalm 62) then why do we not trust God enough to do the things that God calls us to do. Such as... evangelism!

That's right friends, this died-in-the-wool PCUSA pastor talked about the big 'E' word.

It was fun - it was filled with illustrations (which all congregations eat up) - and it was really well received. Now the final test will be if I see new faces in the congregation next week.

Girl said... funny. Good thing you don't have any spandex privelege abusers in your congregation...or don't you??


Purechristianithink said...

Another reason why you never should leave your sermon that late is that you never know when one of the kids is going to pick Saturday night to have a raging ear infection/stomach virus/influenza attack. Even if your loving spouse bears the brunt of the work, the house is too discombobulated to concentrate on sermonizing. HOw do I know this? Well . . . .