Friday, May 5, 2006

Memories Writing Checks the Body Cannot Cash

Okay, so I promised a post that you could "sink your teeth into" and okay, this one is probably not it. I am working on some thoughts regarding the place of Memorial Day celebrations in worship and as they say on The Dan Patrick Show, I am still "efforting" that one. So in the meantime...

So... our first softball game was last Monday night and it was good to get back out there. We are a co-ed team in a league that does not make such things mandatory so "us womens, we gots a chip on our shoulders..." okay maybe only I have a chip on my shoulder.

I have been into sports for a long time. I have played softball for a long time. I have a decent array of eroding athletic skills. Speed is not one of them.

I am slow. I know I am slow and I have gone through all twelve steps in order to hold myself accountable to how slow I am. "Hello my name is will smama... and I am slow." It is not like back in the day I was fast... no, I have always been slooooow. I have also always been fiercely competitive.

So when speedy, snooty, young gun hit a sky high pop up in between the infield and the outfield did I even for a moment consider letting it drop?
Say it with me slowly, "Nnnnnnnooooooo."

I ran. I ran hard. I ran fa... well, I ran. And then..... I dove.

Incredibly and in a display of the ultimate insult, I OVER. RAN! THE BALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (I overdove the ball?)

It hit (smashed) me on the wrist, rolled a good twenty feet behind me and speedy, snooty, young gun ended up on third. My wrist now looks like this (actually right now it looks even blacker and bluer but there are only so many pictures one is allowed to take of one's wrist without garnering suspicious looks from the spouse).








I think I see the silhouette of the Virgin Mary in that bruise. You think I could take a Polaroid and sell it on ebay?

20 comments:

Girl said...

Oh my gosh!! That's almost as bad as my ass!

Although, for obvious reasons, I am unable to proove that :)

Pink Shoes said...

Oooooo .... wow. I'm impressed. Is that the right thing to say?
I've always been a so-so (ok, pretty bad) athlete, but somehow got suckered into playing on the church softball team one season.... my claim to fame? I slid back into second with the thought, "If I hit the baseman hard enough, he'll dop the ball and I'll be safe." I drew blood on my knee and the scar is there to prove it. No one ever accused me of not playing my heart out.

apstraight said...

1) I didn't know who Dan Patrick was. ESPN. Of course.

2) It is a lovely Madonna-esque (and I mean the virgin not like-a-virgin) bruise.

The Boy is going to have lots of fun growing up with you as a Mom... will you let him win from time to time?

Sue said...

Ouch.

will smama said...

Girl... um, what? You know what, nevermind.

APStraight, he has already won because I have totally toned down my act. I do not want to be one of THOSE parents.

Songbird said...

Oh, will smama, that makes my stomach hurt!

Leslee said...

Ok, I'm going over to ebay right now and searching for the Virgin Mary and if this picture pops up....

see-through faith said...

ouch!

will smama said...

NOTE TO SELF: When you want to do a light-hearted post do NOT include a picture of a bruise.

It only hurts when touched so as my Mom would say, "Don't touch it!"

I will admit that a woman couldn't stop staring and shaking her head at the Walmart over by the Mother's Day cards.

apstraight said...

Carvel rather than Dairy Queen for the ice cream cake? What makes Carvel better? That's what I think REALLY needs to be discussed...

cheesehead said...

Ouch!

But I love the post title!

will smama said...

Excellent point of discussion apstraight. The "crunchies" in the Carvel cakes somehow manage to retain their crunchy status whereas the filler in Dairy Queen cakes are soggy. Some attribute this to the fact that Carvel was founded around the toxic area of the northeast, whereas DQ is from the kinder, gentler (softer) midwest.

Either way, crunchy makes for the better cake.

Back in the day (waaaaaaaaaaaaay back), my Mom did homemade ice cream cakes sans the crunchy filler BUT with angel food cake (my favorite) and your personal choice of two ice cream flavors (can't beat that).

Quotidian Grace said...

I think the picture will sell better if you call it an image of Our Lady of Guadalupe. (Yesterday was Cinco de Mayo!)

HeyJules said...

Yikes girl! Oucheewaawaa!

Questing Parson said...

Could we keep our minds on the important things here!!

Who won the game???

will smama said...

Oh yes, QP I was afraid someone would ask that. They did. 8-6.

It gets worse... I made the last out. Worse still?

Speedy, snooty, young gun caught the ball.

mz said...

Mom made personalized ice cream cakes? Huh. I guess we can file this under birthday parties, college care packages and all other things that our mom bestowed on you and forgot about for me...

It's ok...I'll be ok. sniff sniff

Sally said...

all I can say is ....ouch!ouch ouch!!! Hope you are healing up ok

peripateticpolarbear said...

I can totally see the virgin m ary in that bruise.

will smama said...

Over a week later and the bruise is almost gone... oh how I'll miss ye.