Wednesday, August 2, 2006

Parishioner Profile

It is hot. Very hot. I know, it is hot where you are too. Most likely very hot.

Yesterday I called all of the members who do not have a/c to check up on them. Most of them have it now except for one family. I stopped by there today and one of the three was home. I posted in my head while we sat and basted in her living room.

NAME: Brenda Brush (okay, not her real name)

FAMILY IN HOME: Brother and sister-in-law who live on the other side of the house. Picture an old farm house turned duplex without the big wall in between. The only way you can tell whose side of the house you are on is because Brenda keeps her side sparse and spotless whereas the other side is filled with flea market junk and clutter.

LIVING ROOM FEATURES: 2 romance novels (not the kind with the word 'turgid' in them or anything but one had the title Savage Heart and had the obligatory Indian with the heaving chest, open shirt and woman trailing behind him).

Not one. speck. of. dust.

One fan - not even in a window - circa 1920. In a show of true Christianity she insisted I be the one who sat in front of it... err, across the room on the couch but technically in front of it.

Plastic on couch... oh yeah, that hurt. TDH thinks the skin I left behind from the back of my legs will grow back in no time.

KITCHEN FEATURES: Boiling hot water to put corn in raising heat index to 150 degrees (only 40 degrees higher than it already was)

MY FAVORITE BRENDA BRUSH QUOTES:
"You know I just can't stand sitting around, I have to keep myself busy except when General Hospital is on. I can't miss General Hospital."

"I have a new neighbor who looks a lot like you... tall and stocky.... I mean beefy... no, that's not right. Someone who looks like you can't knock her down easily. She has twelve kids you know."

BB: It seems like we just moved in here.
WS: When did you move here?
BB: (laughing) Oh about 40 years ago... 1936.
WS: Ummm, Brenda... it's 2006. That's 70 years ago.
BB: Well I'll be.

AGE: 88

VISIT GRADE: 'A'wesome

11 comments:

RuthRE said...

heh, bless her :)

Songbird said...

"Husky" is the word my Ancient Parishioner uses when comparing me to women he has known over the years.

I feel hotter just hearing about the corn. I bought some the other day but I can.not.cook.it.

Listing Straight said...

You are so good! Now you will be even better if you can time your visits for times when the soaps/programs you prefer are on...

cheesehead said...

Hey, let's hear it for us tall and stocky (or is it beefy?) girls! Unite!

Can't knock me down with a bulldozer.

I'm just sayin'...

Quotidian Grace said...

My wonderful doctor, who also fits the "tall and stocky" description, tells me that gals like us won't have problems with osteoporosis. Well, that's something to look forward to.

Carolanne said...

It's not hot here - not even nearly hot, here. :)
I'm tall and ...

Girl said...

Stocky???? BEEFY????

Whatever!

I'm so mad...I think I'll go suck on some meat on a stick.

will smama said...

Gosh, I gotta tell you all I thought there would be more focus on the romantic novel knowledge than the description of my build. I wasn't hurt. I get it.

And if it were not so hot out maybe I would not have justified buying Klondike bars last night and eating one... and then another.

pPB said...

40 years, 70 years...what's the difference?

St. Casserole said...

It's COMMANDING not stocky or beefy or anything else.... the word is COMMANDING.

Love hearing about this visit.

Just wait until you are served something to eat and it includes either a bobby pin or a thumbtack mixed in.

God Bless All the Older Saints in the Whole Wide World!

revabi said...

I loved this post.

Its a good one for a book you are writing.

Meant to post earlier.

What a woman. And good for you going out to check all them out.