Today I had lunch with some other clergy women from this area. The hospital has a new chaplain and she joined us as well. Right before we were all to leave she mentioned that she was interested in putting together bereavement services either monthly or every other month for women who come through the women's center and leave without a child - miscarriages and stillbirths.
I must have turned as white as I felt because everyone looked at me. I felt faint and I felt frustrated.
So many women have suffered this pain in varying degrees. They started going around...
"Well I suffered a miscarriage and I think it's a wonderful idea."
"I had an ectopic pregnancy and I planted a tree... will smama, how far along were you?"
22 weeks. They had to induce labor.
DAMMIT! I am supposed to be BETTER by now. It's like if I know it is coming - as in buying the tree and planting it - I can pull it off. But if I get blindsided it's like ripping off the scab that I thought had already healed!