Wednesday, June 13, 2007

Go & Doer vs. Sit & Stewer


Yesterday while home for a late lunch I turned on Dr. Phil and there was a couple wondering if they had hit a "deal breaker" in their marriage. Apparantly after seven years of dating and being "best friends" she had finally gotten him down the aisle (why people think walking down the aisle is all of the sudden going to change things is beyond me). Then on day 3 of the honeymoon he announced that he just didn't feel right and thought maybe they should get out now. By month 3 they were on the Dr. Phil show.

Now TDH and I aren't headed to the Dr. Phil show or any other show (sorry Jerry) but there were some similarities between the relationship I was watching on tv and then one I live in.

The title of the post is the phrase the woman used to describe their relationship - she being the former, he the latter. And in a lot of ways that is how I would describe my own relationship as well. And I don't think we're the only ones; after all opposites attract.

Sometimes it comes in handy. For instance, I would have bought one of the first tv cabinets we saw when we went out specifically looking for them. TDH wanted to wait and MONTHS later we found one that really was better than any of the others we had seen. Great. One point for him.

In other areas it has become very frustrating. For example when 'sit & stew' becomes not just the way a decision is made, but the way a decision is avoided all together. I really struggle with that... a lot.

Whenever I counsel couples about to be married I tell them that there will be one underlying 'thing' that 95% of their arguments will go back to. There will be one thing they are often going to have to go back and renegotiate."

It is not a deal breaker or a reason to book a flight to LA... I just wish that it weren't true for my marriage.

4 comments:

Listing Straight said...

Yep. Ditto.

ppb said...

I got nothin'.
But are those you and TDH's hands in the picture?

will smama said...

Nope. That was almost 11 years ago so those pictures are not in electronic form of any kind.

Songbird said...

Amen, all the way around.