Late Saturday night I was informed via email that TOW, etc... are "going to take a break" from our church. Finally! So I was ready to feel happy to be back at church and in the pulpit again but it really didn't happen. The burden is still great.
And now the rumors have started. Actually, I think they are more guesses as to why TDH would have left our home over depression. Still, one involves me having an affair and so enough is enough. I am tired of protecting everyone else at the cost of my own mental and emotional health.
The advice many of you gave me was to get it all out there - it is better to rip off a band-aid quickly. Because of other people's involvement I could not do that, but now it is time to pull the rest of the thing off.
We are still discussing what the best way to do that is - letter? meetings? one big meeting after church? I do know that I am going to let my elders handle it. The two I spoke with yesterday said they in no way, shape or form wanted me to have to stand up in front of everyone again especially to explain something that I had no part in creating.
Either way, this sucks. I realize life is not fair, but I sure did not need another lesson in: "Even When You do Everything Right, Things Can Still Go Wrong."
Sometimes I actually say it out loud, "Keep rowing."
And for now, I am.