Tuesday, August 21, 2007

Things That Make Me Happy

- Today I came home from work to a clean house. Thank you domestic goddess!

- The Boy (age 2 and 1/2) instead of saying 'yogurt' says 'megurt'.

- My completed (and correct) tattoo design (see below but close the circle on the middle letter).

- Yesterday I took two naps.

- The decision to make this a more consistent feature of this blog.

- A sense of humor.
I've been thinking about the upcoming Big Family Event in the beginning of September and although a lot of friends and family already know of our separation there is a segment of the family that does not.

You know the types that bring out the worst in you because you only see them every other Big Family Event but their child of the same age is currently the top engineer at NASA and the younger one has just about wrapped up their innovative plan for feeding the children of Africa. They aren't evil, but you also don't really care about how much mission work needs to be done in Nepal or care that they climbed Mt. Everest since they were down there anyway.

It is these folks that don't know and who I am currently trying to figure out how to answer the question: "I see The Boy, but where is TDH?"

So far I have:
Aliens. It was awful.
I shot him.
He had his NASCAR time trial today.

What say you?

30 comments:

mz said...

How about he was scuba diving off the coast of Phuket when he realized he needed a bigger boat.

OR

He's inside taking part in the reenactment :)

Sue said...

I have to go with the NASCAR time trials, naturally.

Either that, or the Rapture. Then you could ask them why they were left behind.

revrosa said...

broke his leg and i had to shoot him.

ppb said...

a)TDH? I have no idea who you're talking about.

b) If I tell you, then I'd have to shoot you.

Rev Dave said...

Shark attack--don't you watch CNN?

Gord said...

All I remeber was this strange hissing sound, then a big bang, then TDH vanished in a flash of light.

OR

THe good news is that they are ruling it an accident....

Songbird said...

Spontaneous combustion. It was tragic, really.

Jane Ellen+ said...

The flying monkeys dropped him. It's so hard to find good help these days...

Towanda said...

these are too funny! i have nothing clever to add...

will smama said...

mz - first one VERY funny. You speak as though you know.

Sue - Love that. What is the second line when they say, you were left behind.

rev rosa & ppb - Charlton Heston would be proud.

rev dave - I would totally use that one except that is what I said to explain my missing finger.

jane ellen+ - Ask Sue, flying monkeys freak me OUT so I couldn't say the line without turning pale and shivering.

songbird - I can totally hear you delivering the second part of that. Funny.

towanda - You come on back here and give us a FUNNY.

Gord - You got me. Your second one made me laugh out loud. But it could be in the way you told it.

:)

Serena said...

LOL. What towanda said! I'd hate to have to choose just one.

esperanza said...

"He's not here." Because, really, aren't you done with making excuses for him?

And naps are a gift of God.

Listing Straight said...

He wouldn't wear the bridesmaid dress we picked out for him, so we told him he couldn't come.

will smama said...

Esperanza, not necessarily funny - but certainly well played.

LS - VERY funny. Looks like I don't have to write your jokes for your sermon any more.

Jane Ellen+ said...

Sorry, WS-- didn't mean to push a button.

How about suggesting that he enlisted in the Foreign Legion? It works all the old movies...

Rev Scott said...

"Turns out his inner child was a cannibal..."

"He's out looking for his ass - could I borrow a flashlight?"

"Three words: wet paper bag."

"He's out looking for a mirror that'll still show him his reflection."

will smama said...

lol, jane ellen+. What if the flying monkeys took him to the foreign legion?

rev scott... getting darker. Me likes.

I also like random answers like:
THEM: Where is TDH?
ME: 3.2

sherry said...

It's OK, the doctor said I am no longer contagious.

ElastiGirl said...

Didn't he follow y'all up Everest? ISN'T HE WITH YOU?! heehee

St. Casserole said...

Can't you just say, "Who?"

Lorna said...

Funny answers - but yeah a painful situation.

I'd just say "he's not here"and then wander off - like Luna in HP :)

You don't have to make excuses for him. If they want to know they'll find out anyway - but this is not the day for you to be focusing on his absence. Silly man!

identitymixed said...

What?! You can't see him?

will smama said...

ha, ha - you all are getting very funny. So hopefully now when people ask I will remember your answers, start laughing maniacally and walk away.

PS: My word verification started with 'oy'

identitymixed said...

He's making his debut on The Dr. Phil House.

St. Inuksuk said...

All very, very good.
"He went for a walk in the woods..."

Or "He went out for pizza."
(based on the disappearance of a democratic committee chairman in an Italian Roman Catholic Chicago suburb -my hometown. He wanted to stay chairman and the "Townsfolk in Charge" didn't want him too. He went into a local pizza shop and left with a couple suits and was never seen or heard from ever again.) A Soprano's kind of thing.

Mark Smith said...

How about ...

"Someplace in the Caribbean, or maybe the Atlantic, it depends on the tides"

Reverend Dona Quixote said...

"He's auditioning for a drag show at our local gay bar. I understand the cash prize for Ugliest Drag Queen is quite significant ... now how is Aunt SoNSo doing?"

Mary Beth said...

"It's not my day to watch him. I thought it was yours?"

Deliver with rising inflection and puzzled look so that they run off and look for him...

Or, you could say, "Oh, ask X." Then they'll go bother X.

or seriously, just say, "He's not here." I like that one a lot. And the wandering off like Luna Lovegood. None of their bidness, right!?

Rivkah said...

Carry a long piece of string with you. When someone asks, look at it and say, "OMG! Is he off his leash again?!"

hip2B said...

I have a wayward sister that everyone always asks me about...Not the same situation at all, I realize...but my standard answer is "Oh she's being herself"
Perhaps you could modify it.