Friday, April 25, 2008

Full

I entitled this post 'Full' because 'Cup Runneth Over' is a bit too cliche'.

The truth though is, my cup does runneth over. I feel like in a turn-around of a month - which really isn't THAT long looking back from this side of the valley - I have gone from desert, cracks-in-the-earth dry in mind, soul and spirit to soaking wet from a full dousing in emotional, spiritual and intellectual blessings.

The last one on that list surprises me as I have at turns hidden behind and even thrived in my adopted and proclaimed role as 'the class clown' and/or 'the jock', never the academic. At least in seminary (as opposed to college which is a post for another day) I did the work and my grades were respectable but I never would be caught dead uttering phrases like 'historical-critical thought' or 'contextual theology'. And if a difficult question was raised I would content myself not with trying to find the answer but with trying to find the exact right timing to utter the tentative response, "Jesus?" in order to get the biggest laugh (that still does get a great HUGE laugh, by the way).

This past week, I was invited into a group by someone who took a crazy chance that not only could I bring the funny... I could also bring the thought. I was honored, I was nervous, I was tentative and as the time became closer at hand I was: Freaked. Out.

I did the work. I hoped that my longer time in practical ministry would offset my limited rememberings of academic works and I showed up to the table.
And it was good.

I have remarked in previous posts about my faith journey and my stubbornness about accepting that God is in the details. And yet at the time MOST necessary, when I was passed out from dehydration panting on the floor and barely had it in me to press '9-1-1' my dry, empty soul was refilled.

First through strengthened friendships, touch, space to BE, and a reminder that I do care and that I am Beloved. And then through new friends, diving into the Text, being welcomed to the Table and realizing that Jock and Funny are not the only things that name me.

If you have been a part of that piece of the journey this last month you know who you are and thank you.
If you have been a part of who allowed me to be on that piece of the journey this last month you know who you are and thank you.

In Plan B: Further Thoughts on Faith Anne Lamott opens her book with the story of being in her own dry place and meeting up with a friend that she is able to help through the random act of the "ham of God." Her words echo my own thoughts on how quickly we can go from dry to full:

"Later, thinking about [my friend], I remembered the seasonal showers in the desert, how potholes in the rocks fill up with rain. When you look later, there are already frogs in the water, and brine shrimp reproducing, like commas doing the Macarena; and it seems, but only seems, that you went from parched to overflow in the blink of an eye."[i]

I work for the Lord and yet I have been totally caught off guard by how quickly my one word description for who I am and how I am is no longer 'done.

Friends, I am 'full'.

[i] Lamott, Anne. Plan B: Further Thoughts on Faith. New York: Riverhead, 2005. Pages 9 – 11.

15 comments:

Songbird said...

Well, I just loved reading this. Blessings, indeed, and remember you are a blessing to your friends, too.

cheesehead said...

Love you. Mean it. Really do.

esperanza said...

Thanks be to God.

mid-life rookie said...

Smiling with you, for you, and for myself having begun to get to know you. I'm glad you are seeing a few more of the many facets of you. You are indeed a beautiful creation of God, a work in progress, and a blessing to those who know you.

Questing Parson said...

What a treat to read this.

JWD said...

I needed these reminders today. Thank you.

The Vicar of Hogsmeade said...

sounds like Isaiah 41:17-20

and maybe a sprinkling of hesed

or however you spell it :)

Ruby said...

this post fills me, too.
you are so wonderful . . .

Kathryn said...

Just been to strange healing day with diocesan healing group and half way through I found myself thinking about your tattoo and hesed and all that means in your life and in mine....so coming home to read this was a delight.
Huge and happy hugs xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Crimson Rambler said...

it made me very happy this morning to read this,it's been a cracked, dry week in these parts...bless you and thank you

zorra said...

It's so wonderful to read this! If you were here we could dance. My heart is dancing!

Thanks for adding joy to my day.

Anonymous said...

What a gift you were to me this past week. Thank you for all of who you are-- including the part that helped me claim my "fade" and laugh like I have not laughed in years!!!
-Texas Clergy Pal

RevDrKate said...

So happy for you that all of this healing is happening. Happy for me to know you.

God_Guurrlll said...

Your post made me so happy. You go girl! I am so glad I got to meet you and know you! Peace and love.

Mary said...

how excellent! it is a wonderful thing when we are confronted with the beauty and talent nd deep intelligence that others perceive. They are all there, friend. Believe!

your BE friend Mary M