Wednesday, June 11, 2008

Ditto

So anyone who remembers dressing the little ones in their lives also may remember the balance issues that can become involved when little legs go into little shorts or socks or shoes. The Boy lately has taken to holding on to me and saying, "Mommy, I have you and me. I have you and me."

Soon after The Big Event I wrote that I felt like I had kicked off the bottom of the deep end and although I might go down again, at least the next time I would be closer to the shallow end.

Right now we are approaching one year since my world officially got turned on its axis. I am having quite a few memories of events and red flags that led up to that revelation. Some of them aren't so easy.

For one, I remember being so worried about tdx that when he would come up to bed later than me I would hold his hand, in my mind to be an assuring presence. Turns out rather that I was being a fool. Oh well. There are worse things than believing in your spouse and in the vows you both took.

I'm okay and will be okay, but some of those memories definitely need rowing through and it is at these times that I look at the boy in order to regain my balance and cling to who we are now together and think, "It's ok. I have you and me. I have you and me."

17 comments:

Kathryn said...

I remember Hattie Gandhi aged all of 2 coming into my bed one night, for no particular reason that I could work out, and holding me and saying
"It's alright mummy...Cinda's here"
And of course, it was.
Thank God for the Boy - and lots of prayers as you row through rough remembered water. Hugs too xxx

esperanza said...

The Boy is a Wise One. Prayers for the two of you, as always.

Songbird said...

What a good boy he is. I'm glad you have hold of each other.

DogBlogger said...

What a boy. And what a you, too.

(((will smama)))

more cows than people said...

(o)

Teri said...

(o)

Chorus said...

(o)

cheesehead said...

No wonder that boy is so amazing.

Just look at his mother.

(((ws)))

PK said...

I'm with cheese... he is a wonderchild... and we all know where he gets it.

PS... you have us too!

zorra said...

Lifting both of you in prayer today. Love ya--mean it.

Mary Beth said...

Sweetie pie. LOVE THAT BOY.

And you know? I think a fool is an awful mean word to use for yourself....you were trying darn hard to help him. I love you for it.

mean it.

Ruby said...

kindness is never foolish ((WS))

Towanda said...

(o)

mibi52 said...

Not a fool. Just a good and trusting and loving person who deserved better. You've got the boy. There will be something better ont he other side of this - I speak from personal painful experience.
[[[wm]]]

God_Guurrlll said...

(o)

jo(e) said...

(o)

mid-life rookie said...

I remember those loves that came in dressing time. Could be why manBoy's preschool teacher pointed out he needed to be more independent in his dressing skills. I held on as long as I could. As for you, I will keep you in my prayers in the coming weeks. Be gentle with yourself.