As I have alluded to in earlier posts I am working on being a little more present with The Boy. Currently he will tell me to come sit on the couch and I will usually respond with, "just one minute." There will be a pause and he will then say, "Here's a spot for you!"
You can't turn that down, you just can't - and I won't. So I sit and cherish that moment knowing it will be all too soon when I am looking up on the blog just when exactly that was when he used to clear a spot for me on the couch.
In some ways I feel like I am waiting for the Holy Spirit to clear a spot for me in wherever it is that God has planned for us next. (And just a warning, the first person that comments, "patience is a virtue" will be shunned... for life). I trust in the Holy Spirit and I trust that this is not where I am called to be much longer and so like anyone who has decided that their future is not where they currently are I am anxious to move to wherever that place may be.
But Call processes are time consuming and right now we are in the prime summer vacation zone and so a lot of committees have slowed down to a crawl if they are moving at all.
It has been hard to wrap my head around the fact that I already have two strikes against me that I had no part in creating - woman (strike 1), divorced (strike 2). And yes I get that any committee that cannot look past those things does not represent a church I would want to go to anyway - blah, blah, blah....
The thing is I work with these committees and I know even good people are looking for ways - subconcious even - to taper down their lists so that they can focus their time on only the best of the best. I just want a chance to come to the table and talk. Do I think that if I had a more gender neutral name at the top of my resume I would have received more contacts - you DAMN well better believe it!
I am prime age with prime experience and background to make the step from solo pastor to Head of Staff that many men (and women) have made before me. I KNOW men (some of whom I even like) who are younger with FAR less experience who have made HUGE leaps in their careers because let's face it, they looked the part. All the committee had to sell the rest of the church on was their age. With me they will have to sell the church on my gender AND my marital status.
All of that said, and as anxious - and excited - as I am to see what God has in store next for my family, I continue to diligently walk through the process. I pray for the opportunity that I may not even know is about to become available. I continue to keep up the energy level in my current call. And I keep my ears open for when the Holy Spirit in the voice of a committee and congregation somewhere will say, "Here's a spot for you!"