Saturday, May 23, 2009

Helter Shelter

I still remember the first night we ever spent in this place. After seminary graduation we had moved 5 times. Our stuff had moved 7.
In a year.

We were so excited to finally be in our permanent home that when folks kindly offered to let us stay with them until our stuff arrived a couple of days later, we said, "No thank you." We slept on an air mattress in the bedroom, ran out and bought a couple of lamps and quickly learned that brick blocks cell phone signals.

tdx started school the day after we moved so I was in a dark farm house with no tv and no way to communicate with anyone.
Still. It felt good.

As hopefully everyone has with their home there are some really good memories here -
I parked my pick-up truck in this lot.
The dog showed up about a year after we did.
We brought our son home here.
We have hosted bbq's, pizza nights, movie nights, wine & whines and family.
The yard and lot are a perfect place for a boy and dog to play.

There are also some brutally hard memories here.

The manse life wasn't our first choice, but it was an ok choice for us. It allowed us to save some money. It was fairly well taken care of, so our health/lives were never in danger. Not all of my clergy colleagues have been so lucky.

But it will be nice to not have folks come to my door asking for money based on my location to the church (I always told them my husband, the pastor, wasn't home right now).
It will be nice to not have banjos and bluegrass on my lawn until 10 on a Saturday night.
It will be nice to live in semi-anonymity where far less of a percentage of people know who I am.

It will be nice not to round every corner and have a memory flick me in the ear.

I know there are large challenges to home ownership. There is no one to call - and to finance - repairs, but at just under 40 it's time.

It is time to go. I no longer belong here. Even the paint that I chose and the wall paper border in the nursery look foreign. This house is no longer where I am supposed to be. And although wherever The Boy is, that is home - this place no longer is. I am ready.

I am ready to leave this shelter and head home.


Magdalene6127 said...

Blessings to you in this transition;
i long with you for a place that is free of brutally hard memories.

Learned yesterday that Ex Mr Mags is remarrying. I'm genuinely happy for him. And... there is sadness, and memories.

cheesehead said...

I am so glad that you get this new home, and all the memories that will be made in it.

Anonymous said...

I'm glad you are back!!! I know you have been busy... but it is good to know that all is well... and that you have found a home.

May each day there be filled with new and amazing blessings!

zorra said...

Blessings to you and The Boy in your wonderful new home. Good times ahead!

Songbird said...

I love the way you ended this. Many happy days in your new home!

Gord said...

It is becoming apparent that our next abode will not be a manse (just not sure in what community or employment it will be). Hopefully a purchase, if we can scrape together a down payment.

We too look forward to a house that is ours. ANd preferably big enough for all of us to have room to breathe

Byron said...

Thanks for the story. Definitely brought back memories when I had to leave the manse when I got married 10 years ago (I lived in it for 3 years beforehand). To have a church provide a home is a good thing but as Billie Holliday sang "God Bless the Child that got his(her) own." Having some of your own equity doesn't hurt, either!

Mary Beth said...

Yay for you. yay for home.

DogBlogger said...


Sarah S-D said...


Rev Dr Mom said...

Here's to new beginnings in a new home!