Thursday, June 11, 2009

The Long Run

On June 29, 2007 I came home to a letter at my door that changed everything. Since then many words and phrases have become familiar territory such as:
head spinning
survival mode
the long run.

When I asked him to leave our home... "In the long run we'll be better because we had this time of separation."

When he announced in counseling that there was yet another someone else... "In the long run it will be better to be away from what this marriage had become."

When he remarried... "In the long run this will be a cleaner break for all."

The salve to every pain that has come with my broken heart has been clarified by the phrase, "In the long run..."

And I knew it was true. I knew that in the long run my parenting would be better, my independence would be sweeter, my heart would be stronger and my life would be better. But when? When would that be?

If on the evening of June 29, 2007 you had said it would only take two years, no one would have believed it. And yet on June 30, 2009 I will close on my new townhome and complete the move from where I was to the better and stronger person I have become.

Officially the address will be Mill Road, but I know we will have finally arrived at The Long Run.


Drew Tatusko said...

I did not realize how the dates of the move and "that" were basically the same. Surreal is right. But it's also kind of a ritual marker in a way, maybe...

Kathrynzj said...

Fully appreciated bookends.

K E L L E Y said...

Beautiful, elequent, yet heart-wrenching. I know your pain and your satisfaction of feeling like you are independent. We gave are hearts to someone we trusted and they broke it. I know that you and I both gave our love to our ex-spouses expecting devotion until the end. Afteral, it is was God wants for us, right?

Yes, in the long run and at the end of the day, although torn, we are stronger, better almost bionic in our ability to love and trust again, especially our own true self.

I love you. His loves shines on you, highlighting the best parts of you.

K E L L E Y said...

Oh bookends. My daughter Samantha from second perfect husband shares a birthday with my ex. I was crying when the nurse put it into perspective: That date must really be looking to attach itself to me. :)

reverendmother said...

I feel blessed and honored to know you.


Cheesehead said...

You are amazing.

Songbird said...

I love what you've done with the place.

Drew Tatusko said...

As a closer to this post. All I have to say is that Wow Wow Wubbzy has now officially attended your PTS graduation and i touched him. Wubbzy Wubbzy Wow Wow.

Oh and if you come for a visit in August you might get to meet the Julie Unplugged in person! Cool beans sis.

zorra said...

You are teh awesome.

DogBlogger said...


mid-life rookie said...

Amen- let it be truth. Glad you are arriving at "The Long Run." It hasn't been easy to watch you work your way through this, but it's been inspiring. I know you don't seek to inspire anyone with the way you approach life's difficulties, but that's part of what makes it inspiring. Thanks for being willing to share yourself with us.