Wednesday, July 15, 2009

It's Time

I knew her before. Actually, I had warned him about her before. I always knew that the Lifetime television movie playing in her head had him leaving his family to be with her. Eventually through a series of events that just don't matter any more, it happened.

Since then I have not seen her except for a fleeting glimpse as I pulled up early to pick up The Boy and she ran into a back bedroom. Yes, you read that right. She is hiding from me. Seriously.

I am one that likes to open the wound wide open and let it breathe so I have offered that we should meet. These choices have been made and we need to own them. It is what it is. He mentioned that she was working on a letter to me to which I shook my head and rolled my eyes and said, "Please... no more letters."
And that's where we left it.

But in mid-August he and she are taking our child down to Florida and I need to know. I only have his cell phone number and I need more than that. I only know that they are going down to Florida and I need more than that. And so, it is time.

I am about to leave for 2 weeks and before we go I am going to ask him to pick a place where the three of us can meet after I get back and before they leave the area. It will be awkward, but I am hoping the build-up before it will be the worst part. If we're going to present a united parenting front and make things easier for The Boy as he gets older and there are events all will be present for then we have to do this. And selfishly I would rather our first meeting be arranged and not a chance encounter at a local store (where you KNOW I would just be running in to get antibiotics for the strep throat and horrific rash I had at the time).

Now that I am out of the manse a lot of the baggage I had been carrying around is gone. I am in a better place and quite frankly, she can have him. And so it's time.

I just hate that once again I am the who has to take the lead on being a mature adult when on a primal level I just want to give her one. good. punch.

14 comments:

Mary Beth said...

It will indeed get easier as you go, and I encourage the methodical and honest approach. and am praying for you.

oh, and I spit in her general direction.

Songbird said...

Yeah. He really did marry a child, didn't he?
Keep whistling that tune about the high road (or the one about whistling the tune when you're afraid, or get back to me for another suggestion, since I am the source of all ear worms). And remember we have your back.

Songbird said...

Also, what Mary Beth said. And don't forget Maureen Cummings.

Listing Straight said...

I am in awe of what you are able to do... And this is the best thing for The Boy. This is just one of the reasons you are such a good mom.

ElastiGirl said...

keep re-iterating te "co-parenting" theme - maybe they'll get the idea that they have to be adults in this also -
lymi

DogBlogger said...

(o)

parodie said...

I wish life didn't include so many hard good decisions. Rock on, you are inspiring.

(o)

Jennifer said...

You are the Best.Grownup.Ever.

zorra said...

Me too. Only I'm more of a slapper than a puncher.
You will handle this just fine. I'm praying for you, too. LYMI.

Kathrynzj said...

Well, we had the discussion and I gave him some dates. The 'chuckler' was that he said they had discussed the need to do this but mainly because she was afraid I would "sabotage" them at their house. Friends, I promise you I do not even remotely deserve the title 'saboteur'. Even the things I have imagined doing are blatant, public and confrontational ;)

He also would have preferred to do it at a playground with our child present so we'd have something else to focus on to which I responded, "Let's not throw (our boy) under the 'desperate to avoid conflict' bus."

I won't hit her but can I flinch towards her to see how high she jumps? Okay, you're right... I won't.

Thanks for all of your support. Really I just want to get it over with so I can have some more contact numbers and get the last thing that is hanging over my (our) heads out of the way. I'll keep you posted.

Songbird said...

Sabotage them? For Pete's sake. Does he see how silly that is?

Kathrynzj said...

I am judging by the eye roll and the way he shrugged his shoulders he does realize how silly that is - at least in part.

Cheesehead said...

Maureen Cummings? I hate her.

seethroughfaith said...

bless you ...