Friday, October 16, 2009

The Obesity of America

First, you need to know that I in no way, shape or form would be confused for a health nut. Since I moved into a living situation where I am no longer the adult in charge of grocery shopping I have gained 15 pounds... and that's not in muscle. I have a gym membership, but I am trying to get there more than twice a week.

Second, I am not a big breakfast eater. I don't like to start off the morning with sugary/white flour things because that means the rest of the day I battle a headache and maybe even a little dizzy.

So when I go out to breakfast it's usually eggs, hashbrowns and a breakfast meat and for the love of God, COFFEE!

On our way home from the beach I decided to treat The Boy and I to a sit-down breakfast so we stopped at an "Internationally" recognized restaurant chain that has a long name but usually goes by an acronym that is not UJUMP.

I knew we were in trouble when both of us (The Boy is 4) were handed 3 menus each! The food options and the pictures boggled the mind.

Finally I found the kid's menu (on his placemat) and I moved to my options. The menu I described above was in the 'field goal' category. If you added more meat (it came with 4 slices of bacon or links of sausage already) or added pancakes or french toast you moved up to a touchdown, super bowl, etc... Clearly, according to them, 2 eggs, hashbrowns and 4 pieces of bacon is the minor leagues.

This is what I ordered and the waittress told me that I received pancakes free with that. Stunned, I replied that I didn't want any and this is about how the conversation went after that:

HER: You don't want your pancakes?
ME: No thank you.
HER: They're free.
ME: Yes, I know but I won't eat all that.
HER: ............ I think you have to have them.
ME:...... (deciding it was not worth the fight) Okay, then yes please, I will have the pancakes.
HER: Would you like strawberries or blueberries on top of them? ME: Ummmmm, neither thank you. And no whip cream.
HER: No whip cream?
ME: No thank you.
HER: You know, you could have french toast instead.
ME: (relieved that there was another option) Yes, thank you. I would love some french toast, no fruit.
HER: It's stuffed French Toast. It has raisins and cinammon in the bread and is stuffed with cream cheese.
ME: Of course it is...

The stuffed french toast came and it also had icing dripping all over it. I didn't eat any of it, and I felt bad about wasting it. As I looked around the room there were a lot of older and very heavyweight folks in the restaurant.

One couple got up to leave and stopped to talk to The Boy and she offered, "I don't like to overdo it but we just come in here once a week."

Believe me, once a week is all it takes.


Juniper said...

"you HAVE to have them..."
for the love of PETE

zorra said...

Good golly.