In just a few clicks I found a comment I made in 2007 on an unflattering book review of Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert:
She is on Oprah today (10/5) and I of course was immediately turned off by someone who left a committed relationship and then questioned if she went on the journey and then wrote a book or if the journey was for the book. You have answered that.
I wish I could make money off of my midlife crisis.
That was my opinion in October 2007; approximately 3 months since the first crack of infidelity appeared in my marriage and 10 or so days since the second crack caused the whole thing to come tumbling down.
You could see why I may have been a little bitter.
In hindsight, and after actually reading the book (duh), what I respect the most about Elizabeth Gilbert is not that she left the marriage, it is how she did it. According to her it was not that she just didn't want to be married any more, it was that her life was suffocating her. No one should suffocate in the name of keeping up appearances.
My own spouse became so swallowed up by depression and fear of conflict and family of origin issues that he could not look himself in the mirror, let alone me. And so to get out, he turned to others to force me to make the decision for him.
Elizabeth Gilbert didn't do that, and I can respect that.
If nothing else my life post-divorce has taught me about the gray areas to be found in love and life. I wonder how many couples/families walk into church on Sunday morning with their bright smiles and 2.7+ kids hoping no one can tell how empty they are inside. I wonder if everyone was told the world would end in 24 hours, whose arms they would run towards.
Mostly I wonder how to teach and lead others (and myself) to the most authentic life in Christ possible. And if we can't even be authentic with ourselves - including naming what we need to breathe and who we really love - how can we be authentic for God?