Thursday, April 7, 2011

Sometimes I forget...

In some ways it seems forever ago since lives were upended and hearts were broken. I have moved on both physically and emotionally and this is a good thing.

But every once in awhile something brings me right back to that place and reminds me of just how far we've come. This time it was notes from the sermon and worship service of three years ago, yes... only three years ago. In those notes from the past I found this preamble to the pastoral prayer:

I want to thank all of you for your love, care and support as P and I have walked through a valley that frankly I never though we would go through. There is no way I would have gotten through the last several months if I did not feel like the church family was behind me.

Throughout this time I have repeatedly asked P if he wanted to come home, if he wanted to work on our marriage and his response has been a consistent, 'no'. So although our bond will continue through the parenting of our son, we are no longer married.

It breaks my heart to say that, yet I can honestly look at you all amd more importantly at myself in the mirror and know there was absoltuely nothing more I could do.

You are wonderful, faithful people, and I know that you will continue to keep me and The Boy and The Boy's father in your prayers. Let us pray...


God bless that woman who had to stand up in front of that congregation Sunday after Sunday and say words like that or at the very least keep her head high and her shoulders back. And God bless each and every one of you who prayed for her to make it.

It's good to be here. And even better to be here with all of you.

10 comments:

Katherine said...

I only know you through the internet, and yet your grace and courage and honesty through that whole unfathomable ordeal has marked you, in my eyes, one of the most remarkable people I've ever known.

So glad to know you made it through.

parodie said...

God bless the woman who so lovingly and bravely looks back on her past. Three years is both a blink and a lifetime ago.

Pastor Julia said...

We may not get to the Promised Land together, but at least you have come out of the the Land of No Promise! What an ordeal. If I say courage, it makes it sounds like you prepared for it. God bless your grit.

Food-E said...

What strength you possess for being able to share this moment not just in such grace with your church community, but with the many who pray with you and for you through social media. Bless you!

jill said...

And because you got through it with such courage and grace, I was better prepared to get through my own marriage breakup a year later. Thanks so much for sharing your story, your struggles, and your peace. It gave me a lot of hope, and I am happy being on this side with you. Jill

Mary Beth said...

Sure do love you.

kathrynzj said...

Thanks all... but especially Jill.

Juniper said...

thanks for sharing this - and also for your helpful words over at Revgals tonight. I went and re-read psalm 130 a bunch of times and it unstuck me.

Jennifer said...

God is not done. I give thanks for you.

Crimson Rambler said...

Yes and amen and "right back atcha"